About the Promises I didn´t Keep Last Year

As last year began I was finally feeling that after a long time things are going to go my way. I was moving forward in my career and I had a million plans on what will I do next. I also started to have a healthier lifestyle mentally and physically, so I was really enthusiastic about how I will manage to integrate more and more self-care routines in my daily life.

And then the pandemic came and everything changed. One by one my plans were cancelled and life got more and more stressful and it got really hard to be away from my family. I even started to wonder when and if we will see each other again. I don´t think there is any person in this big world whose life wasn´t in some way touched by this pandemic and I also think that many of you have felt the way I felt then and maybe still do.

But at some point my “survival instincts” kicked in and I started to adapt. After all, this is the “new normal” and I don´t think things will ever go back to the way they were before, so I try to focus on the positive and make the best of the situation I´m in. Somewhere between worrying for my loved ones and trying to still keep some things in my life unchanged, I realized (maybe the greatest revelation for me at this time) that I really do love my job and I think I now love it even more.

Now, back to those promises… Anyone who knows me, knows that I usually plan everything in the smallest detail and I live my life by a list of rules. I usually promise myself at the beginning of each year that I will be better and in order to achieve that I draw a detailed plan with narrow time frames. I´m very aware that this way of living isn´t very healthy, but it´s the way that I am and I´ve learned to accept it as a part of me.

But last year at some point I´ve decided to cut myself some slack, I´ve decided that it´s OK not to keep all the promises I´ve made to myself and that it´s OK just to “go with the flow” for a little while. And guess what? Life didn´t stop happening even if I didn´t have a tight schedule. It´s really hard for me to live this way and to admit to myself that sometimes I am just “human” and it´s OK to “fail” or to achieve something at a later time. That doesn´t mean I will give up the person I am and I like to be, but I will allow myself from time to time to not keep promises I´ve made myself.

On that note, I wish you all to stay healthy!
Yours,
Diana