I´m not a person who gives up easily. I still like to believe that everyone and everything has a good side and I usually try to search for that. Sometimes it´s pretty easy and sometimes it´s really hard, but like I said I don´t like to give up that easy. This really helps me in my job, but in my personal life it has more than once brought me anger and disappointment. In time, I´ve learned a few strategies to save myself some heartbreak.
First of all, I´ve learned that people should not get endless chances to change. Those who are really worth my while will take action when it is needed, no fight will be necessary, just civilized constructive conversation, expressing my needs and wishes, hearing the needs and wishes of the other person and wonders will happen. Of course, this written here I a very”idealistic” way to describe this process. The reality is that this is a long and painful (for me at least) process, because I get really attached to people I try to help and I make a lot of excuses for them when they take advantage of my help. But in the end, I wake up and do what I need to do: cut them off.
Second, I´ve learned not to project my own ideals on people and situations anymore. I´ve written here about the fact that many times I see things how I want them to be and I end up disappointed when they turn up not to be what I imagined. The same applies to people: many time I tend to idealize a person who later turns up not to be what I expected. Andrei always tells me that I live in a perfect world where everybody is good and helps each other and that I should try to see the world how it really is: cold and mean. But I don´t want to give my idealism up. It is what makes me me, what drives me to be better and to make the world around me a better place. I just learned that it should have limits and that reality sometimes catches up with me.
Third, I´ve learned to accept that sometimes “it is what it is”. What does this mean? For me it means that I don´t need to invest feelings in everything. Some things or people are just not worth it. Like dark clouds on the blue sky, they will come and go, but I will not let them to bring rain.
So, this is what I´ve learned so far, but I´m sure I still have a lot to learn and I will be happy to share it with you.
On that note, I wish you health and happiness,
P.S. The pictures are from the “Passion for Pictures – Netherlandish Drawings of the Eighteenth Century” Exhibition at the Städel Museum in Frankfurt am Main.