wow, I can´t believe it´s been a year since I´ve last written something here. Well, it´s a new year now and looking back at the one that ended a few days ago, I still can´t describe it or figure out what happened. I´ve been thinking a lot about this past year (I think on New Year´s Eve and on January, 1st is somehow a “must” to do that and to make some resolutions for the coming year, at least according to social media) and in the end I see that all the changes that came unexpectedly kind of set o direction on my future. The word that describes 2021 for me was WORK. I worked and worked a lot. It was actually pretty rewarding as I began a job in the field I love, addiction medicine. I realized that this is my “home” in psychiatry and I’m really happy that I found my place.
I also learned to listen more to what my body and mind need. It was pretty hard to do that, as we are taught (at least in my cultural background it´s usually like this) to work hard and achieve the maximum not matter the cost. We all must fulfill a well-defined role in the society no questions asked. I was like that until a few years ago and I was always somehow disappointed and sad (read that “depressed”) because I couldn´t fit in this well-defined role and have the “appropriate” life: work hard, have a good job, get married, have kids, buy a house, go on vacation at least once a year at home etc. etc. etc. So a couple of years ago (it must have been 2 or 3) I started to ask myself why I always had the feeling I never fit in and realized that the things I wanted weren´t the things that the society I lived in wanted for me. The most difficult part about that is being comfortable with the fact that I am different and that began slowly last year. I learned to stop from time to time and ask myself “does this feel right to me?” or “do I really want to do this?”. I realized I to set my own priorities and deadlines to achieve the things I wanted.
It´s not easy and it´s a process and it took me years to come to this point, so this year there will be no resolutions, just love and continuing the journey to true self.
On that note, I wish you a lot of love in this new year!