Hello there,
wow, I can´t believe it´s been a year since I´ve last written something here. Well, it´s a new year now and looking back at the one that ended a few days ago, I still can´t describe it or figure out what happened. I´ve been thinking a lot about this past year (I think on New Year´s Eve and on January, 1st is somehow a “must” to do that and to make some resolutions for the coming year, at least according to social media) and in the end I see that all the changes that came unexpectedly kind of set o direction on my future. The word that describes 2021 for me was WORK. I worked and worked a lot. It was actually pretty rewarding as I began a job in the field I love, addiction medicine. I realized that this is my “home” in psychiatry and I’m really happy that I found my place.
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I also learned to listen more to what my body and mind need. It was pretty hard to do that, as we are taught (at least in my cultural background it´s usually like this) to work hard and achieve the maximum not matter the cost. We all must fulfill a well-defined role in the society no questions asked. I was like that until a few years ago and I was always somehow disappointed and sad (read that “depressed”) because I couldn´t fit in this well-defined role and have the “appropriate” life: work hard, have a good job, get married, have kids, buy a house, go on vacation at least once a year at home etc. etc. etc. So a couple of years ago (it must have been 2 or 3) I started to ask myself why I always had the feeling I never fit in and realized that the things I wanted weren´t the things that the society I lived in wanted for me. The most difficult part about that is being comfortable with the fact that I am different and that began slowly last year. I learned to stop from time to time and ask myself “does this feel right to me?” or “do I really want to do this?”. I realized I to set my own priorities and deadlines to achieve the things I wanted.
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It´s not easy and it´s a process and it took me years to come to this point, so this year there will be no resolutions, just love and continuing the journey to true self.
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On that note, I wish you a lot of love in this new year!
Yours,
Diana
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